균형잡힌 삶

불과 몇년전만 해도 '균형잡힌 삶'이란 무엇인지 항상 고민했었는데..
(my identity as 1.5 generation - in the Korean community/New Zealand community, Christian/Secular involvements, to drink or not to drink alcohol, etc)
지금은 어느정도 균형이 잡혀가는듯 하다. 여러 해 고민 끝에 깨닳은 것은, 균형잡힌 삶을 살려면 나의 가치관이 무엇인지 알아야 하는데 나의 가치관을 알려면 내 자신을 알아야 하고, 더욱 어렵게 깨닳은 것은 내 자신을 알려면 하나님을 알아야 한다는 것이다.
'내가 누구인가'에 대해 파고 파고 파다 보니 더욱 알지 못하였고, 아니, 알다가도 그것이 틀리고, 또 많이 알았다 했다가도 그것은 시작에 불과했다. 나 자신을 알게되는 과정이 너무 먼 길이기도 하고 내 자신이 누구인지 확신할수 있을때쯤에, 나는 한 나무에서 바위로 옮겨간 카멜레온 처럼 또 변하였다.
그때 난 성경을 읽고 말씀을 내 삶의 기준으로 삼을수 있음에, 또한 하나님께 매달릴수 있음에 너무 감사하다 생각하며 기도한적이 있다.

지금 문득 드는 생각은 나는 매순간 하나님을 위해 살려고 노력을 해야지 최소한 반(?)을 하나님을 위해 살 수 있는 것 같다.
나의 죄성이 나머지 시간은 그리 하지 못하도록 방해하는 것 같다.
그래도 내 자신에게 위로하는 부분은 나의 삶의 최종 목적인 하나님께 영광을 올리는 것, 하나님을 사랑하는것이 분명하니깐 중간 중간 모자란 부분은 하나님 은혜로 보살펴 주시기를 바랄 뿐이다 ^^;;

'칭찬은 고래도 춤추게 한다'
개인적으로 참 좋아하는 말인데 반대로 '춤추는 고래가 조련사로부터 칭찬을 하게끔 훈련한다'는 말에도 참 공감한다. 이 두가지는 참 지혜로운 말이다.



Compassion을 통해 Opio라는 3살반 아이를 만났다. 사진으로 말이다ㅎㅎ
앞으로 오랫동안 후원해주고 싶다. 기도와 사랑도 많이 해줄꺼다.

미래에 Opio와 내가 만나는 그날까지 ^^
God be with Opio!!! :)

First official homeless ministry

Okay, so I've been absent here for quite a while......? but I wasn't totally neglecting this place, there were plenty of things I learned that I wanted to share! but I actually had no time - wish I'd posted some of the things here....cuz now I can barely remember dah..
Never mind, I guess the things that don't stick with you for long are merely wonderful & wise quotes but not the ones that give life and hope and LOVE like zee wooord of God B-]

I began my official homeless ministry today. Last night at 5pm I had this great idea of making egg sandwiches to give out to the homeless today - I had arranged to follow a group of uni students that already began serving the homeless a couple of years ago I suspect - and then I went to Harbourside church to listen to Sy Rogers speak about relationships..anyway, I had to leave as soon as he finished speaking to get the ingredients at a 24hr operation supermarket (3 dozens of eggs, 2 loaves of bread, mayo, parsley) and once I got home and in the kitchen it was 11pm. I don't want to make the story long (especially when I'm typing this up from my galaxy) so here's my point. It took me 3hrs to make 20 egg sandwiches and I got just under 3hrs sleep before I met up with the group. My back was sore even when I lay in bed, my eyes felt tough and dry, was so sleepy and thought "then why do I want to make more and more sandwichse????"
Here's my second point: I wanted to be God's tool. I wanted to be the miracle that answered someone's prayer, Iwanted God to use me to reach out to whoever's in need, to his children that need warmth in their heart. I wanted to share the Father that is so loving to me, the Father that protects me, and that heals me, looks past all our shameful doings and is always forgiving. I was shown this grace when I was a sinner and given the privilege of having been saved before others, I wanted to share this privilege. Oh and believe me, I've tried keeping it to myself, and it limits the flow of grace in my life, not because God isn't POURING His grace every opportunity, but because I wasn't standing beneath it. I didn't understand the meaning of grace.

Now, I don't know when I'll next plan an outreach but serving the poor and reaching out to the needy gives me great pleasure as it is an opportunity for both myself and my brother to be filled in the love and grace of our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ His Son and the Holy Spirit.






[back in bed, planning to sleep hrs extra as I have a long day ahead!! :))))]